Because a life without you
by DepravityAwaits
Summary: Sinbad has died and Judal is trying to cope with the pain. One-shot Character deaths, SinJu, Sinbad x Judal (I wasn't sure what to pick for genres for this.)


_Warning, this fanfiction contains a hinted boyxboy relationship (and it's stupid that I actually have to warn people about this, just accept every type of love) and death._  
_I do not own Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic!_

The world is colorless.  
Everything had been painted with different shades of grey and everything tasted and smelt the same way.  
Everything was dull and lacked any signs of these pretty colors, red, blue, green; anything but that was not the only thing which this sad lie called life lacked. It also lacked a _purpose_, a reason to carry on when the little you had, had turned to dust right before your very eyes.  
Which way was the right one to go now or was there no right direction for him to go?  
Judal wanted to know, he wanted to feel it and he wanted to see it for himself.  
But he had grown tired of waiting.  
When he thought back to how things used to be, wasn't this the way he had wanted things to turn out from the beginning? Then this shouldn't bother him as much as it did, because he had wished for this to happen, right?

... Right?

His crimson orbs locked with the dark, crying nightsky and he felt its tears fall down on his face and drop down his cheeks. As if these tears that belonged to the sky above him, was his own.  
_Rain.._

Why was it raining?

His black rukh swarmed around him, like bees around their hive, as he stood still in the rain, nearly parlyzed by his own, overwhelming grieve and it felt like he was suffocating, he couldn't _breathe _and he was unable to think.  
Wasn't this such a pathetic sight? To see him like this?  
Oh, how he wanted to prove himself wrong at this point but as he stood there and wished to the bottom of his heart, for the sky's tears to wash away his own sorrow, he knew he was right.  
How pitiful. How could this out of all the things in the world, shatter him into a million of pieces and spread them all out over the cold hard ground?  
The black Magi didn't even seem to be able to pick up the pieces of what was left of his broken heart, because whenever he tried to, he cut his fingers on the sharp, sharp glass which caused him to bleed and cry due to the unbearable pain.  
He had given up on this matter long ago, since he was scared of the overwhelming pain which swept him away to the bottom of a deep, deep ocean and tried to kill him like a siren.

It had alreadt been six months since this tragedy which had broken Judal, happened and everyday felt like a lifetime for him. Oh, how slow the world seemed to move when you have lost somebody important to you, the only one who actually ever meant something to you in your pathetic life.  
It was sad, how somebody like him, had died like that. No matter how many times Judal tried to kill him in the past, in the most outrageous ways, Sinbad had always escaped with just a few scratches.  
Yet all that was needed to take him down, was a sword to the back of his neck and thus, he was slayed by Kouen's hand.  
Beheaded in front of his people, in front of Judal, in front of everybody.

_'"So High king Sinbad of the Seven Seas, it has come to an end."_  
_Judal's eyes widened the moment he heard these words and he turned his head, away from his current opponent and the sight that he was met by made his heart freeze._  
_Why was there a sword to the back of Sinbad's neck?_

_Kouen lifted his sword and looked down at the man, which he was just about to execute._  
_Sinbad was already badly hurt, blood poured out from a deep wound in his abdomen and the sight was quite pathetic actually as he struggled to get up, to speak and to escape from this sad fate that awaited him._  
_The black Magi's eyes widened and he reached for his wand, trying to stop Kouen's actions from happening but he was too late._  
_And then the next second.._

_His head was cut off._

_Despite that he knew this would get consequenses, Judal screamed and he cried Sinbad's name in despair as he watched his head fall to the ground and the crimson liquid soaked and painted the green grass in a color which it didn't need, a deep red color._  
_The color of Sinbad's blood._

_The body of the king fell to the ground and so did his head, the Sindrian king was fallen and his people had lost, since the moment they saw him, their courage dropped and left them paralyzed. The Kou Empire's Magi didn't blame them, as now he couldn't think, his mind was filled with nothing but Kouen cutting Sinbad's head off and he screamed over and over again for him, begging him to wake up, wanting to fix him and put him together._

_To see him smile at him again.'_

Why had he been with the Kou Empire and not with Sindria, to stand by Sinbad's side and protect him from all evil that awaited him?  
Not a day passed without that these thoughts formed inside of his head and he regretted this so much that his body and soul ached and caused him to cry, cry until he could no longer cry anymore and once that had happened, he only felt more empty inside.  
He had lost him, the one who meant the world to him and the only one he ever really needed in his life.  
Nobody had known about it and he was unsure whether they knew about it now or not but it didn't matter to him anymore if they did or not.  
Sinbad was dead anyway.  
Dead, cold and gone.  
Their relationship had grown into something else, from just enemies into something beautiful, yet, very, very forbidden and they were both aware of that this could cost their lives but none of them were ready to stop, to say goodbye to the other and so, they continued to see each other in secret.  
They had spent many nights together, all alone and each one of them had been different but everytime Judal was with him, he felt this warm feeling called 'love', which caused him to feel warm and insecure. Sinbad was his hope. His reason to carry on.  
Love was the one feeling that he had been ordered to avoid and despise but it was also the one feeling he had hungered for the most after he met Sinbad, even though he didn't even realize it himself at first.  
Even though it was dangerous for them both, they couldn't stop, they needed each other's company like most living beings need the oxygen to breathe and now that Sinbad was no longer alive and well, Judal felt as if he was slowly suffocating and drowning in his own sorrow and grieve.

He had always failed in his attempts to kill the king.

_Always._

_Always._

_Always._

_**Always**__._

Why had Kouen not failed when he killed him? Why?

_Why?!_

Judal wished to the bottom of his heart to be in his embrace once again, to listen to his calming heart beat in his chest.  
The heartbeat which he during so many nights had fallen asleep to while he listened to it and slept in Sinbad's arms, up close to him. It was like a melody, a beautiful lullaby sung in the most foreign language.  
The heartbeat which he could no longer listen to nor be able to hear again during sleepless nights.  
Because that one heart had stopped beating six months ago, when the body and head that was supposed to be attached together, had been severed.

Oh, how he longed for his kisses and to be able to run his slim fingers through his messy but beautiful purple locks. Judal loved Sinbad's hair, how soft it was and the beautiful color that it possesed.  
The hair which had been soaked in blood when Kouen beheaded him on the battlefield.

"Sinbad, please come back.." whispered the black Magi to nothing but thin air and heavy drops of rain.

Feeling this empty and lonely, it was unbearable, it suffocated him as he tried to gasp for her and breathe.  
He couldn't handle it anymore, the _pain._  
Slowly, he continued to walk in the rain, silently and all alone he was. The rain drops that fell on his bare feet were all very cold and it sent shivers up his spine as he stepped in a puddle.  
The ground was cold, wet and slippery, once in a while he stepped on a stone which pierced his skin and it hurted but he still continued to walk. Since for once he had a goal, he knew where he was going and what he was going to do.

"Sinbad, please come back..!" he repeated as he continued to walk until he reached a cliff.

Judal looked fown from the cliff, at the sharp rocks underneath, those would pierce anybody's flesh right through.  
He closed for his eyes a second and listened to the ocean waves, they were calming and soothing for his despair filled soul. For a moment they even filled him with peace and clarity.  
But not enough.

"Come back."

Slowly he turned around and looked at the nature that was behind him and he watched the rain fall down over the country, for what he hoped would be for the last time.  
A warm tear rolled down his cheek as he watched the rain, unlike when he had cried in front of Sinbad, there was no doubt that this was not a lie. However, his tears wasn't visible due to the rain that also ran down his face, soaking him wet.

"Because a life without you...

Slowly he leaned backwards, losing his footing and everything semed to be happening in slow-motion as he fell to his death, towards the sharp cliffs that where waiting at the bottom and would pierce his body right through. He didn't hope for a slow death, nor did he hope for a quick death.  
All he knew was that he wanted to _die._

_... isn't a life at all."_


End file.
